On fear, violence and Russia

I am (slightly) sorry for interrupting technical posts with politics, but, as all responsible adults know, even when you're not interested in politics, politics may get interested in you (insert your favorite "In Soviet Russia" joke).

Hearing the shocking news from Russia, I constantly experience mixed feelings. On one side, I'm lucky to live in a country, where opposition leaders are not murdered or thrown in jail for poorly fabricated reasons, where people are not beaten on the streets for merely expressing their opinion, where you cannot be jailed for a like, repost or retweet, where nobody interferes in your sexual life, where economy has not been slowly stagnating for a decade due to incompetent thieves ruling the country, where I don't have to keep a distance from police officers just in case (I still do - old habits die hard).

"Human dignity shall be inviolable. To respect and protect it shall be the duty of all state authority."

is how the German Constitution starts, and I have a warm feeling inside when I see these words printed here and there, even as part of street art! I wish my country took this seriously. I wish my country took its own Constitution seriously. What is happening now is incomprehensible for a man who has spent the last 7 years exploring the modern world.

On the other hand, I'm ashamed of my luck, of the fact that I'm safe and cozy here while tens of thousands in Russia are fighting for their (and mine) freedom, for the future of the country. I have never been the brave one. I would not be able, like Alexey Navalny, to return to his country to face humiliation, repressions and potentially death. And while I'm doing my best supporting the protests with money and information, I don't return, even for a short visit. Not because I'm such a prominent oppositionist, no. Quite the opposite: I'm a regular guy, and if I get arrested, jailed or murdered by the state repression machine, tens of thousands won't hit the streets. I would be a drop in the sea of violence.

But I hate to be a person without a homeland. I hate to be ashamed to say I'm Russian. I hate to be associated not with great classic literature, music or fascinating nature, but with repressions and invasions in neighbor countries. Well, at least I can be thankful to this wonderful country that became my second - and real - home and explore it as much as the situation allows.

P.S. If Russia means something for you, other than a far away country with vodka, bears and a batshit crazy government, please consider helping ovdinfo.org and zona.media. And please spread the word!